the last time

i posted was two months ago, and i find myself in the exact same state of mind. but i dont just want to scream, no, i want to run away, very very far away, and not say goodbye, and not come back for awhile. if this was remotely possible that would be nice and maybe id be satisfied with just screaming for now. i dont want to grow up today or tomorrow. just need some time. to be where i want to be, doing whatever i feel, complete liberty. that feeling comes from time to time in small moments that pass much too quickly. at times when the clock settles down and the only thing left is a cigarette. mornings that the trees outside my window wake me up with birds and a familiar smell of rain. those seconds to myself when i feel completely alone. nothing is going to slow down and i dont have the energy to catch up. please, when i say the word, just
freeze.